OK, OK!

After hundreds of thousands of backchannel requests to reveal the secrets of the plan that I masterminded leading to the First Family's success with Harbour Lights investing, I decided to tell all, right here in these fora, right now.

Hopefully, I might finally get a good night's rest for the first time since going public with my Advisor-to-the-President status.

Are you ready? Here's the closely-guarded secret to success. It is simple a three-step plan, and it's worked without fail so far.

Step 1: Buy Coquille River LE, HL111, at retail. Buy as many as you can. Mortgage the house. If the house is owned by the taxpayers, so much less the risk to you.

Step 2: Sell Coquille River LE, HL111, at inflated secondary prices. Sell them only to people over 95 years old who agree to leave them to you in their wills.

Step 3: Upon inheriting the HL111, repeat Step 2. Repeat as necessary to acquire the desired wealth.

The fine print: Harbour Lights investing can be risky. Investors can and do loose money. Consult with your investment advisor and other financial professionals before trying this yourself. Above all, please notice that this is in the HUMOR forum. That means it's a joke. Sorry if you don't get it, but the author will not be held responsible if you attempt to do anything stupid with this information. The opinions above are those of absolutely no one, including the author, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of this website, its webmaster or contributors, Lighthousekeepers, Harbour Lights, or Younger & Associates.

-F. Lee Bailey