There are remarks across many threads which clearly indicate that often times the spouse of a HL collector has limited tolerance for the pursuit of Harbour Lights!

Is there a particular Harbour Lights piece or two that the experienced PRO's would recommend, which when shown to our spouse, would engender admiration and support of HL collecting? (Maybe they should have a spouses reunion! LOL )

My own spouse has little to no interest in it, and just barely tolerates my collecting Harbour Lights. Nevertheless, on one ocassion, she did come up to me and say how much she liked the relatively modest St. Georges Reef.

Surely there must be a MAGIC Harbour Lights piece which will let them see the proverbial light!

Any nominations or recommendations???????

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JB

JB -

You've got it in the wrong order. You don't get them a Harbour Light in hopes they'll support the collecting bug. You take them to an actual lighthouse and then present them with the HL version. You have to love lighthouses first. HL's come next.

Good luck,

Rich

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In that case, I think I'll take her to Galveston to see Bolivar which is just a few hours from here. She can enjoy the beach, she can enjoy the ferry ride across the channel to the LH, and then she can get very, very close and see it from the exact same perspective as the HL's. Then a nice dinner by the ocean!

A great idea! Thanks Rich !

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JB

[This message has been edited by JUL (edited 01-09-2000).]

Ditto from this corner! My wife barely tolerated my purchases until our trip to the outer banks last summer. Now, she insists that we have a HL ornament tree next Christmas and even presented me with two under our last tree. She is now embroidering sweat shirts with Lh's on them. I am not sure, though, that this is good. At least, before, I had someone tempering my desire for more HL's. I needed that. THERE'S NOBODY TO STOP ME NOW.

This doesn't always work though. I have taken Becki to over 180 lights now, but she still just tolerates my collecting. All in good fun though, she knows I'm a Wacko.

If the romantic trip to one lighthouse doesn't work, then you have to find that special common denominator. 1)If your spouse is an architect or engineer, find some interior and exterior construction designs/plans of lighthouses and point out their structural beauty and challenge. 2) If your spouse is a "bean counter", buy a Green Book and show them how much the collection has appreciated over time. 3) If interior decorating is their forte, let them redecorate a room around a lighthouse or beach theme (ofcourse that can temporarily put a crimp on the HL buying budget!). 4) Plan a great vacation along the coast of Maine or Florida (or your own favorite part of the world) including lighthouses as part of the tour. 5) A spouse into photography will be hooked once they see a lighthouse beacon lit just a dusk, under a full moon or in the fog. 6) If they are a history buff, one of Cheryl Shelton-Roberts books makes a great winter read. Once you can get your spouse interested in lighthouses, a love of HL can't be far behind!

Deb

I agree with Rich. My Wife Colleen is from Rochester, NY and on trips to Charlotte Beach has seen Charlotte Genisee light many times . Not until she put her eyes on the HL Charlotte Light did she come into " the Fold" of HL collecting. She got hooked when our HL Charlotte was signed by Bill Y. this past year and she still talks about that event. Now Colleen has as many HL "wants" as I do. OH GOSH THE BUDGET.

Thanks!

Great advice from all which I will truly take to heart (despite the humor I attempt to put into these postings).

I really think she is trying to be more tolerant and truly has the potential to come around eventually

Its just that as long as she controlls the checkbook, tolerance may be the limit of her participation. We went to price a nice curio today,... that didn't last long LOL!

Nahhhhh She'll come around. If she can put up with me, HL is a piece of cake!


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JB

[This message has been edited by JUL (edited 01-09-2000).]

I always look for a group effort in trying to find the seahorse - that always works! And it gets them to look very closely to how deatailed the piece is.

I like that idea of introducing her to a real lighthouse.

Rod Watson should tell you about his surprise celebration of his wife's birthday last year at a lighthouse. Very thoughtful and a bit romantic.

John

You're right John, and Rod "there ain't nuthin' like the real thing, baby". Especially if you can get them to climb it!

http://216.46.163.97/forums/Forum15/HTML/000098.html !!check out my September 7th post!!
"My wife Mary Ann, who until this day, kind of put up with accompaning me on my lighthousing excursions, still has not stopped talking about the day! She even climbed the ladder to the lantern room and crawled out through the small access door to the latern room deck to view the day."


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Long Island BOB





[This message has been edited by rscroope (edited 01-10-2000).]

I agree with everything suggested so far. You have to find out what your spouse is interested in that would capture her attention. Something about a real light house seems to work best.

I found that my wife is interested in the history of the lights and the family struggles that went with them, especially the lady light keepers. I have several books that fill that interest. She really became interested in the story of "the little red lighthouse and the great gray bridge". (Jeffery's Hook)I got her the book and the HL for her birthday. She still only tolerates my obsession. She thinks I have gone overboard with buying 46 lights in the past year. Which is the only hesitation she has about my new hobbie. I have found ways to buy the ones I want without depleating the family budget, which is her biggest concern, by selling items I have had for years and not used like my roto tiller, my 22 rifle, some old lanterns, and other past hobbie items.

If you can find her hesitation about Harbour Light collecting it might help you devise a plan to get her more interested.

Dale


She does enjoy looking for the sea horse and usually likes the ones we have visited.

Dale & Bob,

I like your idea of looking for the seahorse as well but I'm going to have to pick a very OBVIOUS one. I mean, you really have to use your imagination on some of those little guys. The last thing I need is one of those "you've got to be kidding me looks

As with many, I think it's obvious the $$ is an issue. Like you Dale, tonight I got off my duff and cashed in some old books at a half price bookstore to defray costs. When I came home with my whopping $8, it really made her happy . I mean it really did!! I don't know if it was because it was a start to defray the costs or that in the process I cleaned up an area of the house



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JB

Becki's birthday was the 25th of May, during one of our vacations to the Chesapeake Bay and Outer Banks. Through previous phone calls, I was able to pre-order a very large basket of wine, cheese, crackers, etc. along with 2 large "Happy Birthday" balloons. They were delivered to the Currituck Lighthouse an hour before our arrival. The employees at the light then walked them up to the top of the tower, and placed them inside the locked/ off-limits lens room before our arrival. I was quietly given the key to the locked room, so upon climbing the tower and roaming the outside balcony, I told Becki to "come here". I moved her over to the top of the stairs and started to suddenly unlock the lens room door (with a big "private" written on the door). Due to the layout of the tight area at the top of the steps, the opened door of the lens room then becomes a closed door to the outside railing area (when the lens room is open, the outside is closed...when the outside is open, the lens room is closed). When I swung the door open, I was closed off on the outside, while she was now closed off on the inside by herself with access to the lens room. The big basket was right in front of her, along with all the lens room supplies and 1st order fresnel lens. In a panic, she yelled out "What are you doing?...this is off limits!...someone elses stuff is in here". After some coaxing through the door, she finally noticed that the basket was hers. We all had a laugh, and was also able to explore the inside of the lens room and actually step inside the huge lens itself. The employees were very nice and also had a laugh, while Becki was a bit embarrassed, but pleasantly surprised. Needless to say, the wine and cheese did not survive to the next morning.


[This message has been edited by Rod Watson (edited 01-11-2000).]

Great story and time Rod! I have experienced something special at Currituck too, and have read many accounts of similar remembered experiences there. It's must be one of those lighthouse societies that take that extra step to treat all visitors as they would like to be hosted.

As for Jul, I always find the seahorse first to make sure it's not to hard. I agree, success in finding it on the first couple of HLs is critically important.

There is nothing quite like the real thing. While visiting my cousin in Jupiter, FL, my wife and I ate at a little seafood restaurant right on the inlet, across from the Jupiter lighthouse. We were seated on the dock, able to look across the inlet, and see the lighthouse. Anyway, we had a wonderful night, good food, and it was a great end to a nice vacation. When I finally got a Jupiter HL off of ebay, the reminder of that night caused my wife to tell me not to worry about the price, just get that lighthouse! She's been as excited over lighthouses as much as I have since then, although she is also the level head of the family! I guess without her guidence, we'd be broke! (although, I would have a great LH collection!

Ah ha! After reading Rod's birthday surprise for Becki, I'm glad to note that romance is alive and well! I was beginning to lose hope.

Joanne

Jul,

Not much more I can add about getting your spouse involved that has not already been said, but I will agree with the others, there is not anything like taking them there.. I have boughts 23 HL's since August, and the way it got started was taking my wife to 5 lighthouses on the Ga. and Fla. coast.. That got her interest peaked, and we have had a ball just with the chase of the older LE's... I keep a list of HL dealers with me, so whenever we are out of town we can hit them. (Of course she will shop for other things while there.) It has also helped that I have learned a lot about the HL's so that she thinks I know what I am doing. (Got her fooled on that one) I have also found one or two steals, and when it is a deal, both of us have a hard time turning it down... My only problem is the budget.. It can't stand a continual pounding. I like the ideas of selling old stuff to buy the lights, but my wife always gets rid of stuff I don't use after two or three years... Guess I will have to find another way to get the money... But bottom line is going to the light and the "hunt" of the lights helped me get my wife involved...

Also, for the first time she actually wants me to buy her a HL... The one she wants is the new "Liberty Enlightening the World"

Quite simply, you must visit the lighthouse as a couple. A well planned get away to a nice destination where there is something for each is great. For example, I strongly recommend a stay at Chatham's Chatham Bars Inn as a jumping off point to visit all of Cape Cod's great lighthouses . . . then as they mysteriously show up in your home they will hold great memories for each!!!
Len

I guess I'm lucky. Cindy saw HL first and wanted to decorate the bedroom with them and being the GREAT HUSBAND that I am... I said OK and bought her first piece which was Hatteras and joined her up with the Collector's Society.Painted the bedroom a light blue and put up a LH border. We then took a much needed vacation to Hilton Head where we saw Sea Pines (she was disappointed it wasn't real), and we went to Cockspur, Tybee Island, Hunting Island, Old Charleston, and Sulivan Island. Before the second day, we BOTH were LH fanatics. A trip to remember! Guess now though I'm the bigger fanatic, thanks to ebay! I'm keeping a close watch on the R@R list. We soon will be moving some of our collection into the living room since the bedroom is getting too small to really show them off. We've only got 12. ( but growing !!! )

Welcome to the Forums Medicman. It was good to chat with you last night but it did get kind of late for me. Last night was pretty informative. Some of the other threads are wondering if any new LH pieces were secretly divulged. Our lips are sealed. That'll get them started!

Anyway, Based upon everyones input, I have got to take Diana to see a LH soon. Some things are coming up which may allow us to go to Florida this summer and then it will be a lot easier than from where we are right now.


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JB

Watch out Medicman! That's how it started with me. I wanted to do my den in lighthouses. Well, the collection rapidly outgrew the room and now my living room, dining room, kitchen, hallway and guest bathroom are all decorated with lighthouses.

Joanne

Jul,
Rather than wait until you can get to Florida, why not visit some of the lights closer to you in Texas??? Pick up the January issue of Texas Highways and check out the great article on the lights here. It has directions and a bit of history on each. Plenty to see before you leave the state.

Mike

Mike,

Thanks! I happen to be going out in a few minutes so I'll pick it up then. This will be great because I hadn't been able to pick up a map of Texas lighthouses yet. I think I'll order that U.S. LH map from Lighthouse Depot.

I went to see Bolivar last month which was especially neat because of the free 20 minute Ferry Boat ride to get there.

See You around Town!



[This message has been edited by JULB (edited 01-17-2000).]